I remember waking up on Thursday, December 1st, 2011 absolutely exhausted. The previous couple of weeks had been really busy... We had both of our families (both in San Diego) come to visit us in Arizona for Thanksgiving, I hosted my first Thanksgiving dinner, and after all of that craziness, I did the 6 hour drive back to San Diego with my parents for a little family visit.
The tiredness was the kind of exhaustion I had never known before. I also felt like I was getting the beginning of a flu bug, but I just shook it off. I woke up that morning, in my childhood bedroom, and thought 2 things, 1.) "I must have mono," and 2.) Oh my goodness, it's December.
My dad let me borrow his car that day so that I could meet a girlfriend for lunch. I dropped him off for work, came home for a few hours to relax, and then headed out to BJ's Restaurant in La Mesa. Now this restaurant has a ton of memories attached to it-- I used to work across the street and it was a popular place for after work happy hours, birthday parties, and get-togethers with friends. Joshua's best friend and his wife had their engagement party there. It's always just been a fun place :)
Backing up a bit...
That morning, in-between dropping my dad off at work and meeting my girlfriend for lunch, I got online to check out some of my favorite blogs, of course.
The first one I read, was Ruthie Hart's post on the topic of fear.
Her post really hit me in a number of ways. There was a part in her post about "faith in God includes faith in HIS timing." I've learned a lot about patience over the past couple of years, but the idea of getting pregnant was starting to burn strong in my heart. And the idea of NOT getting pregnant was something I was starting to grow panicky about. I was growing fearful that the one thing I had always wanted more than anything in my life, to be a mother, might not happen for me. Here's what I wrote in Ruthie's comment section:
And sweet Ruthie's response:
God used Ruthie in a mighty way and her words gave me chills when I got the news I received later that day.
The other blog I check out was dear Heather of A Mom Without Facebook and her post called "4 Days Apart"-- the story of how she and her sister are both pregnant and only 4 days apart from one another!
Her story also gave me chills as I read it and marveled at how good God was to bless Heather's sister with a baby after months and months of waiting. I wanted that to be me. I wrote this comment:
I don't know if you caught it, but I made this statement: "Heck, I could be pregnant right now for all I know."
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So after I wrote those comments and got ready for my lunch date, I drove down the hill and arrived at the restaurant... exhausted. I remember telling my friend, "I have never been this tired in my whole life."
What was so special about this lunch date, is that my girlfriend had recently found out that she was pregnant and our conversation was filled with baby talk. I was SO EXCITED FOR HER. She's one of my best friends in the whole wide world and we've been through so much together and the thought of her being a mom just thrilled me! While at lunch, she started explaining all of her symptoms and I thought, "That sounds just like me." But I discounted it... I mean, I've seen "not pregnant" on every pee stick I've ever peed on. So I proceeded to tell her that all of her symptoms rang true for me, and she knew that we had been trying, so she straight out when outside to her car and grabbed a Clear Blue pregnancy test that she had lying around in her car. We finished lunch, paid the bill, and ventured into the bathroom... and that's when I almost had a panic attack, 1.) If this was positive, did I really want to find out without Joshua and 2.) Did I really want to find out in a public restroom? Hahaha!
But I thought about everything and it felt right. I had one of my favorite people in the room to experience it with if it was positive, and it would also give me some time to process how I would tell the hubby...
"PREGNANT"
[via]Those words can really change your life. I looked at her and she had tears streaming down her face. And I was just dumbfounded, ecstatic, scared, and completely emotional... woah! I was shaking so bad. We couldn't stop crying and hugging for about 5 minutes straight. The fact that both of us were pregnant-- and only 4 days apart we eventually found out-- was absolutely incredible!
I walked out from that lunch and everything looked different. It's one of those moments where you know you can never go back but you don't want to... you know that everything moving forward will be miraculously beautiful. It's scary. From that moment on, you are caring for something else. You have something living inside of you.
[via]
So guess what I had to do? From there, I had to go pick up my dad at work and act like nothing was going on! He asked how my "pregnant friend was feeling" and I just smiled. Little did he know that his own daughter was pregnant, too! :)
We went to his doctor's appointment, where for 45 minutes in the car we talked about nothing that I can remember. I just remember being completely amazed. During his appointment, I drove to Target and bought 3 more pregnancy tests and some prenatal pills. I sat in the Target bathroom in Poway, CA, and all 3 tests immediately came up positive. I was laughing hysterically. I could not stop giggling. I bet people were wondering what was really going on in there ;)
I drove back to get my dad at the doctor's office. We drove home, got stuck in traffic, and again, I don't remember anything that we talked about. All I could think about was whether or not I should tell Joshua over the phone or wait. I called a few girlfriends and they all encouraged me to wait. I'm so glad I did! More on that later.
We got home and I had to face my mom and act like nothing was going on. She knew of course, that something was, and later said that I looked "pale." Bwhaahahaha! I decided that there was NO WAY that I could stay for 5 more days in my parents home and not tell them. So I went back into my childhood bedroom, grabbed 3 of the positive pregnancy sticks and put them in my sweatshirt pocket. I told my brother to come out into the kitchen, and when everyone was there, I gave each of them a stick. And their response, "Is this yours?!" :) We all cried and it was one of the best moments of my life! 
Thank you everyone for your prayers on this journey and we continue to covet them! More coming soon about how I told the hubby :) And feel free to ask any questions you might have!
