I've talked about it here and there before, but my life was so different before we moved to AZ.
This post isn't really to compare CA to AZ, the new life to the old-- but to instead talk about identity.
It's so easy to get so wrapped up in "what we do"... it can easily become a defining part of ourselves.
It fills us with worth, or so we think.
I've always wanted to be a mom. But before we had kids, I worked. I am a person that enjoys working. I like to have a "purpose" every day. After marriage and during college, I worked as a barista at Starbucks. After graduation, I worked in e-commerce marketing for a chain of luxury resorts down in Mexico (our office was based in San Diego).
When I moved to AZ last May, I detoxed for a few months and then God brought me a wonderful virtual assistant job with Casey. It was such an answer to prayer because I really didn't want to have a "normal" 9-5 job since Joshua's schedule is all over the place. Working with Casey, having a social life, working on my own blog, battling morning sickness, moving twice, and running my own home has been a full-time job and has kept me very, very busy over the months.
But sometimes...
I miss heels, an office, grabbing coffee at the coffee cart in the office lobby, conference calls, dressing up, being taken seriously, going out to lunch with executives, feeling respected, going on business trips, etc.
But don't get me wrong, I don't want to go back.
When I miss some of those little things, I have to remember the craziness.
The nasty emails, the mean voicemails, the overtime work, the work trips that took me away from my husband and how incredibly tired, stressed, frazzled and exhausted I was. I don't think I ever had a peace about what I did because it's not where my heart was.
I always just wanted to be a mom.
But my identity. It was easy to get wrapped up in what I did for a job.
It felt good to tell people what I did from 9-5 everyday when they asked.
My days are so different now. My heart is genuinely happy but sometimes I feel like I don't really have anything "statusy" to say. I know that people have much greater jobs than I had, but to me, my job was something that I took pride in. I also know that God is preparing my heart to be a mom, because let's face it, being a mother is the most thankless job in the world (and the most rewarding, or so I've heard, wink) and this topic of "identity" has really been stirring in my heart a lot lately.
A few weeks ago, our pastor gave us all 3x5 cards and asked us to write our top 5 ways we "define ourselves" on the card. Wife? Cook? Dog walker? Friend? Daughter? Whatever defined us, he wanted us to write the first 5 things that came to mind. What would you write?
The most convicting thing about this whole teaching lesson was that I wrote down wife, mother-to-be, friend, etc... and yet I left out:
"Daughter of The King"
Our pastor proceeded to say that that should have been our number one. But far too easily, we let the other life defining aspects-- the things we can physically see and and do-- define us. It was such a humbling lesson for me.
I've learned so much in the last year since I moved that a career doesn't define me.
But yet, I'm obviously so forgetful that I have the most amazing "defining attribute" of all time--
being a daughter of the Most High.
I miss the work trips, but I've gained so much more. I've learned so much about myself and have this amazing time to prepare for the best job ever-- becoming a mom. I pray that I'll always remember my identity in Christ and always encourage my daughter to seek her identity and worth in Him, too.
This post isn't really to compare CA to AZ, the new life to the old-- but to instead talk about identity.
It's so easy to get so wrapped up in "what we do"... it can easily become a defining part of ourselves.
It fills us with worth, or so we think.
I've always wanted to be a mom. But before we had kids, I worked. I am a person that enjoys working. I like to have a "purpose" every day. After marriage and during college, I worked as a barista at Starbucks. After graduation, I worked in e-commerce marketing for a chain of luxury resorts down in Mexico (our office was based in San Diego).
When I moved to AZ last May, I detoxed for a few months and then God brought me a wonderful virtual assistant job with Casey. It was such an answer to prayer because I really didn't want to have a "normal" 9-5 job since Joshua's schedule is all over the place. Working with Casey, having a social life, working on my own blog, battling morning sickness, moving twice, and running my own home has been a full-time job and has kept me very, very busy over the months.
But sometimes...
I miss heels, an office, grabbing coffee at the coffee cart in the office lobby, conference calls, dressing up, being taken seriously, going out to lunch with executives, feeling respected, going on business trips, etc.
But don't get me wrong, I don't want to go back.
When I miss some of those little things, I have to remember the craziness.
The nasty emails, the mean voicemails, the overtime work, the work trips that took me away from my husband and how incredibly tired, stressed, frazzled and exhausted I was. I don't think I ever had a peace about what I did because it's not where my heart was.
I always just wanted to be a mom.
But my identity. It was easy to get wrapped up in what I did for a job.
It felt good to tell people what I did from 9-5 everyday when they asked.
My days are so different now. My heart is genuinely happy but sometimes I feel like I don't really have anything "statusy" to say. I know that people have much greater jobs than I had, but to me, my job was something that I took pride in. I also know that God is preparing my heart to be a mom, because let's face it, being a mother is the most thankless job in the world (and the most rewarding, or so I've heard, wink) and this topic of "identity" has really been stirring in my heart a lot lately.
A few weeks ago, our pastor gave us all 3x5 cards and asked us to write our top 5 ways we "define ourselves" on the card. Wife? Cook? Dog walker? Friend? Daughter? Whatever defined us, he wanted us to write the first 5 things that came to mind. What would you write?
The most convicting thing about this whole teaching lesson was that I wrote down wife, mother-to-be, friend, etc... and yet I left out:
"Daughter of The King"
Our pastor proceeded to say that that should have been our number one. But far too easily, we let the other life defining aspects-- the things we can physically see and and do-- define us. It was such a humbling lesson for me.
I've learned so much in the last year since I moved that a career doesn't define me.
But yet, I'm obviously so forgetful that I have the most amazing "defining attribute" of all time--
being a daughter of the Most High.
I miss the work trips, but I've gained so much more. I've learned so much about myself and have this amazing time to prepare for the best job ever-- becoming a mom. I pray that I'll always remember my identity in Christ and always encourage my daughter to seek her identity and worth in Him, too.
(All pics from a trip to Puerto Vallarta & Cabo San Lucas, Mexico)
** Linking up with Casey Leigh **
** Linking up with Casey Leigh **
