Thanksgiving 2012
Before I became a mom, I was never afraid of death. It wasn't something I thought about, and it's something that I never worried about. Joshua and I would have long talks about it and we always said we would want the other person to move on, find love again, and live a happy life.
But then I became a mom, and death now speaks a whole new name. It means I would leave my child motherless,
and my husband to raise our daughter alone.
Death of my husband also takes on a whole new meaning. It would leave me alone in this big world to raise our daughter. It would mean I would most likely eventually have to learn to find love again, and my heart doesn't even think I could do that. I would, most definitely, compare every single person to him, I'm afraid.
I know death is inevitable and I know where I would go and where Joshua would go if it happened. But it freaks me out and it freaks me out way more now. I'm so thankful that I can put my trust in a God who knows how many days I'll have to live and who knows how many hairs are on my head.
Sorry for such a morbid post, but this is the honest answer to this question :)
What are you most afraid of?
But then I became a mom, and death now speaks a whole new name. It means I would leave my child motherless,
and my husband to raise our daughter alone.
Death of my husband also takes on a whole new meaning. It would leave me alone in this big world to raise our daughter. It would mean I would most likely eventually have to learn to find love again, and my heart doesn't even think I could do that. I would, most definitely, compare every single person to him, I'm afraid.
I know death is inevitable and I know where I would go and where Joshua would go if it happened. But it freaks me out and it freaks me out way more now. I'm so thankful that I can put my trust in a God who knows how many days I'll have to live and who knows how many hairs are on my head.
Sorry for such a morbid post, but this is the honest answer to this question :)
What are you most afraid of?
