In the middle of April, Joshua got an email that would change our little world. It offered him the opportunity to chase a new career path and, in turn, that put a "detour" in our Spring plans. I am continually reminded that when I "make" our plans, God de-rails them and not only de-rails them, but changes them drastically (insert chuckle here). This job offer came years earlier than expected. Another gift from God that we did not see coming. But, with the opportunity, came the downside: 8 weeks apart and separated by the state of New Mexico in-between us.
As hard as it was for me to accept his leaving, the independent side of me got excited. I've never been one who found it difficult to be alone. I believe that God has shaped me to be Joshua's wife because I'm not afraid to be by myself at night (something that is required for his line of duty) and I am pretty independent so I make myself busy apart from him.
As much as him leaving crushed my spirits and left me feeling sick inside, I chose to outline all of the positive things about it and focus on those instead. One of those being that I would have a lot of "me" time, and sometimes that gets put on the back-burner when you are meal-planning, grocery shopping, doing laundry and performing all of the daily life activities that happen when you are caring for a spouse and baby. I knew it would afford me the small luxury-- if only for a few weeks-- of doing less laundry, eating whatever and whenever I wanted, and structuring my days around what I wanted to do/what I didn't want to do.
During the time apart, which was really, really hard-- I learned a few lessons about myself, which I'm going to humbly admit here:
People are my "God."
This is a horribly gruesome thing to admit. But I love people and put them on such a pedestal that they often come before my relationship with God. Far too often, I'm quick to check Facebook, Instagram or some other social media outlet before I am willing to spend time in the Word each morning. I also highly value connecting with others and feel disconnected when I don't. Being alone and without daily, consistent interaction with my husband and having to learn to not hear from him much during strenuous training put more pressure on my girlfriends to "be there" for me. I realized after the 8 weeks were over that not only is that unhealthy, but my expectations for others is way too much and unattainable. My priorities often get misplaced and my focus needs to be on those who are constant: God, my husband, my daughter, my family.
Have a hobby.
A lot of my personal hobbies have been sacrificed (or so it feels at times) since becoming a mother and I honestly didn't get to many of the projects I had planned to do while Joshua was gone. I really realized that my lack of hobbies and personal time for fun projects is slowing having me die a slow death. I need to structure time for this in my life because I miss it dearly and I know I will feel more well-rounded when I implement it into my daily routine. I have never wanted to be the person that "lost" herself after becoming a mom and I am making it a priority to keep doing what I did before, even if it has to change a bit. I don't think it's selfish to make time for yourself when you are a mom. It's actually one of the best gifts you can give yourself, your spouse, and your child, in my opinion.
Stop watching someone else's life and live yours.
A lot of nights, when it was quiet and lonely, I would sit on Instagram or read blogs for hours. It was easy to start comparing my life or my creativity (or lack there of) to someone elses. We all know that blogs are simply a "glimpse" of other's lives. I really learned, after a few weeks of wasting a heck of a lot of time, that my social media time has to be limited. So I started limiting myself to a certain amount of time each day on each source rather than "scrolling" through it all day. It's a healthier balance now and I'm glad I learned this lesson sooner rather than later.
God is the only one who will truly complete you.
source unknown // via my Pinterest
Finally, this was a great reminder and one I have always known and heard but truly was thrusted into when Joshua was gone. As a woman, if our heart is longing for something or not feeling "fufilled" in our marriage, it is a quick sign that our relationship with our Creator is off. Not only does making time with God each and every day change our hearts and minds, but it puts our relationship with our spouse on a healthy, balanced level. It releases pressure on our husbands to be "the one" who fufills us. Only Jesus can do that. When our focus is on God more, and less on what our spouse is "not" doing for us, we're left with an all around healthier balance.
//
In other news, Eden is on the verge of walking.
Someone hold me.
As hard as it was for me to accept his leaving, the independent side of me got excited. I've never been one who found it difficult to be alone. I believe that God has shaped me to be Joshua's wife because I'm not afraid to be by myself at night (something that is required for his line of duty) and I am pretty independent so I make myself busy apart from him.
As much as him leaving crushed my spirits and left me feeling sick inside, I chose to outline all of the positive things about it and focus on those instead. One of those being that I would have a lot of "me" time, and sometimes that gets put on the back-burner when you are meal-planning, grocery shopping, doing laundry and performing all of the daily life activities that happen when you are caring for a spouse and baby. I knew it would afford me the small luxury-- if only for a few weeks-- of doing less laundry, eating whatever and whenever I wanted, and structuring my days around what I wanted to do/what I didn't want to do.
During the time apart, which was really, really hard-- I learned a few lessons about myself, which I'm going to humbly admit here:
People are my "God."
This is a horribly gruesome thing to admit. But I love people and put them on such a pedestal that they often come before my relationship with God. Far too often, I'm quick to check Facebook, Instagram or some other social media outlet before I am willing to spend time in the Word each morning. I also highly value connecting with others and feel disconnected when I don't. Being alone and without daily, consistent interaction with my husband and having to learn to not hear from him much during strenuous training put more pressure on my girlfriends to "be there" for me. I realized after the 8 weeks were over that not only is that unhealthy, but my expectations for others is way too much and unattainable. My priorities often get misplaced and my focus needs to be on those who are constant: God, my husband, my daughter, my family.
Have a hobby.
A lot of my personal hobbies have been sacrificed (or so it feels at times) since becoming a mother and I honestly didn't get to many of the projects I had planned to do while Joshua was gone. I really realized that my lack of hobbies and personal time for fun projects is slowing having me die a slow death. I need to structure time for this in my life because I miss it dearly and I know I will feel more well-rounded when I implement it into my daily routine. I have never wanted to be the person that "lost" herself after becoming a mom and I am making it a priority to keep doing what I did before, even if it has to change a bit. I don't think it's selfish to make time for yourself when you are a mom. It's actually one of the best gifts you can give yourself, your spouse, and your child, in my opinion.
Stop watching someone else's life and live yours.
A lot of nights, when it was quiet and lonely, I would sit on Instagram or read blogs for hours. It was easy to start comparing my life or my creativity (or lack there of) to someone elses. We all know that blogs are simply a "glimpse" of other's lives. I really learned, after a few weeks of wasting a heck of a lot of time, that my social media time has to be limited. So I started limiting myself to a certain amount of time each day on each source rather than "scrolling" through it all day. It's a healthier balance now and I'm glad I learned this lesson sooner rather than later.
God is the only one who will truly complete you.
source unknown // via my Pinterest
Finally, this was a great reminder and one I have always known and heard but truly was thrusted into when Joshua was gone. As a woman, if our heart is longing for something or not feeling "fufilled" in our marriage, it is a quick sign that our relationship with our Creator is off. Not only does making time with God each and every day change our hearts and minds, but it puts our relationship with our spouse on a healthy, balanced level. It releases pressure on our husbands to be "the one" who fufills us. Only Jesus can do that. When our focus is on God more, and less on what our spouse is "not" doing for us, we're left with an all around healthier balance.
//
In other news, Eden is on the verge of walking.
Someone hold me.
