I have really been missing blogging lately. Something about coming to a computer screen-- with a fresh, new blog post about to be started-- is so beautiful to me.
Perhaps that is how an artist feels when she approaches a blank canvas or how a dancer feels when she approaches the stage. It's how I feel when I touch piano keys.
This blogging thing-- this is our "stage." When I am gone, I miss it. When I come back, it feels like a little slice of home.
Despite missing blogging so much, I find that I'm back to the "old me" before I had a blog. The me that is just looking at other people's blogs-- reading and commenting, and wishing I had a blog. And wishing that someone would finally give me the kick in the pants I need to just start one.
Oh wait, I have a blog.
Joshua always encourages me to stop spending (or, cough, wasting) my time reading other people's online journals and just start writing in mine. I think the longer I wait to start writing, the scarier it becomes. The more vulnerable I become. The more jaded I find myself. The online world is mean, and harsh, and cruel. And yet it is so, so, so very beautiful.
I have camped out too long in the being fearful side of it. I have let a few bad incidences steer me awry. But I no longer want it to hold me back.
Although I wasn't able to attend The Influence Conference this past weekend, I had a handful of blog friends that were there. It was so fun to live vicariously through them via their pics on Instagram (I'm obsessed with Insta, are you?! Find me at @_fbintheordinary). And it got me so excited for HopeSpoken in March! But all of this to say that blog relationships are real. These were women that had never met before, sitting in a room together, worshiping Jesus and breaking bread together. I believe in blogging and I believe that it has changed my life (that's another post for later).
I saw something on Pinterest the other day that said something along the lines of, "Do more of what makes you happy." Now that I kind of feel like I'm getting my groove back after this whole first year of motherhood thing, I am able to focus more on me and who I am and how God has made me. One of those things is that I love blogging, and I want to be back. I want to write more, analyze less, and embrace the good and bad of it with open hands. I want to do more of what makes me happy, even if it's something that no one understands ("You met friends on the Internet, say what!?") or that takes up a lot of time (yes, blogging is a lot of work) or that no one reads but me.
This is my happy place.
