Inspired by my sweet, fellow AZ friend Ashley
If you looked into my office, you'd notice that it's more of a den that you enter once you reach the top of our stairs and before you enter the double-doors into our bedroom. There's a couch, a coffee table, a sliding door that goes out to the porch, a few pictures that are hung on the walls, a bookshelf, and a lot of magazines strewn everywhere. There's also a lot of pens, Sharpies in all sorts of colors, a stapler, scissors, and my MacBook Pro. This is my little space to hibernate upstairs that distracts me from the never-ending array of dishes and laundry and helps me stay focused.
If you looked into my Gmail account, you'd see a ton of emails that are waiting for responses. Tons of unreturned comments and a folder marked "Encouraging" that I like to open at least once a day to keep me going. This is where I file inspiring emails from my family and uplifting readers of mine. Emails are never ending, but it's a major part of blogging and a wonderful way to stay in touch with people. I write more emails every day than I did when I worked in e-commerce marketing last year, but these emails never seem like a chore.
Valentine's Day 2010, Hollywood, CA
If you looked into my home, you'd see a place filled with love. Our townhouse has 20 foot ceilings and there is not enough wall art to make it not feel sterile. We can not paint the walls since we are renting, but I try to still make it feel warm with colorful pillows, a large rug on the floor, candles, a large mirror and vases up on the top of the kitchen cabinets. You'd see a puppy that is either running around the house with his duck toy that makes quacking noises or you'd see him chewing a rawhide or lying on his back with a big smile that begs you to itch his tummy. You'd see a sink full of dishes (never-ending), a door to our laundry room off our kitchen that is always filled with dirty clothes to be washed, and a piano that begs for me to play it every day. You'd see four, beautiful sonogram pictures of our precious baby-to-be taped up on the wall entering the kitchen where we spend most of our time. This is our home, where we laugh and love- and yes, sometimes bicker- but it's ours.
If you looked into my head, you'd know that I over-analyze things, care about people way more than is probably should, re-think situations in my head, and feel guilty a lot about how I need to email/call/text back/FB message someone back. You'd find that I'm always thinking, always planning, and always figuring out ways to make my life better, more organized, more purposeful. You'd see that I think about my husband while he's at work non-stop and worry about his safety. You'd know that I miss my family something awful but that I try to not let my mind linger there for too long because I know I can't change anything about the miles that separate us. If you looked into my head, you'd see how often I think about our baby's growth process, his or her tiny fingers and toes, and how excited I am to share this stage of life with so many of my girlfriends here that are either pregnant or have little ones. You'd see a mental checklist of the things I need to do for the baby shower I'm planning this weekend for my dear friend, Heidi, and also a countdown in my head until our next doctor appointment on February 28th!
If you looked into my purse you'd see, the green gum (I forget the brand) that's called "Rain." It rocks my socks off. You'd see a few pens, a green Coach wallet, tons of lipgloss, lots of trash (why I can't seem to throw it away, don't ask me), probably one of Hartley's bones that he dumped in there, a checkbook, my day-planner, and lots of hair ties and bobby pins.
If you looked into my car you'd see, lots of tennis balls for Hartley, a few towels in case he gets wet at the park or lake, one of his leashes, a few loose magazines (I think it's fun to have them in the back for passengers), some CD cases, a wire that charges my iPhone and one that synches my phone to play through the speakers, probably some empty water bottles that need to be thrown out, and my sunglasses thrown on the dashboard.
If you looked into my medicine cabinet, you'd see a ton of products that I never use. Lots of nailpolish that I probably should toss by now, toothpaste, a few things of face moisturizer, loose bobby pins and a ton of other random things. We leave perfumes and colognes on the counter with the tooth brush holder.
If you looked into my heart, you'd see that I love my friends and family very much and think about them constantly. You'd see that I love people very much-- probably too much-- and take on their pain and joys almost like it's my own. If you looked in my heart, you'd see that I'm anxious and excited to be a momma and that I'm struggling over feeling like I'm not doing enough to make my husband's life easier (laundry, what's that?!) these days. You'd see that I'm really content right now and feel so blessed to be able to have the flexibility I've wanted to have for years. You'd know how thankful I feel that I can be a stay-at-home wife and, come August, a stay-at-home-momma. If you looked into my heart, you'd see how much my heart loves, respects and cherishes my husband; you'd see how happy it made me this morning to just wake up with him and hear him read Proverbs 9 and Romans 1 to me in bed before we started our morning. If you looked into my heart, you'd see a girl that loves Jesus and who views him as strong, faithful and loving. You'd see a girl who truly knows and has seen that every step He's set for her has been the right one and believes that He really does make beautiful things out of the dust.
