For her first year of life, she was not what I would consider a cuddly baby. She has always been fiercely independent and didn't like to be smothered. According to our mothers, I was exactly the same way as a baby, and Joshua was the complete opposite.
But in the last 6 weeks, we have done a 360 and my little Eden is happiest falling asleep on our chests and will do so in a matter of seconds. All of this has happened when we noticed her 1-year-molars starting to poke through. In addition to the cuddling, she has been more clingy than normal. She needs more reassurance that we are still around. I love watching her interact with other kiddos and then looking for me in the crowd. She knows us so well.
I must be doing something right, no? All of this time with her, day in and day out, it's so sacred. I can never get it back.
It is time well spent.
The clingy-ness can get down right exhausting, though. There have been days in the last couple of weeks where I feel like I have barely been able to do anything except for when she is napping. She is at my feet, in my arms, touching my arms, or touching my cheeks. She has to be within earshot of me. She has to be close.
And you know what? For weeks on end, it annoyed me because I had so much to do. Couldn't she see that I was busy? Couldn't she see that I had a laundry list of to-do's?
Everyone will tell you to "savor these moments" because they go fast but in the midst of life, sometimes that is so hard to do. How can we stop and savor, all the time, constantly, every single day, when we have so much to do? We can not just drop everything, right?
When Eden was at her peak of clingy-ness, my mom was in town. And she said something really profound to me... "Heather, be thankful that she clings to you. It shows you that she knows you well and feels safe with you."
And then that Sunday at church, our worship pastor said something I will never forget.
He said that the act of lifting our hands in worship is just like a child lifting his hands towards its mother when it wants to be held and comforted.
It is the act that God wants of us. It's the act that we should be doing each day. It says, "God, I need you."
This stage has been exhausting but it has taught me so much. Now, rather than being frustrated when I'm needed or when I can barely leave her side, I'm trying to thank God each time it happens that she wants me. This is only for a short season, and the months are already flying by at warp speed. The "to-list" means very little in the scheme of things. The chores can wait. Thank you, God, that she needs me.
